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Soul Reflection (fdm130)

by Chris Anderson

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1.
In This Life 04:04
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i can still remember singing sad songs by the riverside those you never even thought to hide, alone but i never saw this side of the road but, for this life i'd trade a million dollars for this life throw a million pennies at your thoughts hide a million answers in this life i can still remember lullabyes sang soft into the dark and i never knew the fire from the spark so i spun in circles, riding yesterday but, for this life i'd trade a million dollars for this life throw a million pennies at your thoughts hide a million answers in this life i can still remember the sound of blue-green dancing in my shoes free from all the worries and abuse so i rolled the tumble-down into a fall but, for this life i'd trade a million dollars for this life throw a million pennies at your thoughts hide a million answers in this life i can still remember looking off with sad eyes in the sand i never wanted more than to pretend that this life was something more than it could be -July 1993
2.
Rivers Of Gold 05:08
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rivers of gold inside my head rivers of color, bleeding red rivers of suggestion, to feed the dead rivers of torment, to do what i said and i'd love to see you go there you say you'd never grow old and i'd love to see you buy me off with your rivers of gold rivers of gold inside my brain rivers of sorrow bring down the rain rivers if ice flow in the veins of the rivers of fire, for which you complain and i'd love to see you go there you say you'd never grow old and i'd love to see you shut me down with your rivers of gold rivers of gold inside my mind rivers of life leave you behind rivers of death, in a sullen whine rivers of gold, so out of time and i'd love to see you go there you say you'd never grow old and i'd love to sit and watch you drown in your rivers of gold -September 1993
3.
Simone (part two) 03:11
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your eyes are closed and all alone after all that your hands have show delight me once and guide my way i'm told you're crazy and while i crash and burn you let out a sigh don't ask me what - i'll show you simone, isn't it funny the way you show it off? a package sealed and sent back home to die, believing he's unknown your perseverance brings me down i am told the docks will burn and fail a lesson never learned but it's a given you're a whore simone, isn't it funny the way you show it off? sit down and recognize my pain don't stop - your loss is now my gain i stole it all and sold you too don't tie me up, just toss aside those quirks you never thought to hide alone, it's never quite the same simone, isn't it funny the way you show it off? and if it changes, don't smile coz this shit'll never end and you are always weeping sit down. -9/21/92
4.
Wind 05:07
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scraping pennies on a factory floor my eyes bleed red and the face they adorn is cracking from a bitter chill and i feel like i'm falling down a great big hill wind me, now make me move again my chapped hands can work no more jenny works eight hours a day, on the row and the children, bless 'em, they do what they can to hold down the iron and lend a hand wind me, now make me move again i gaze on a sunrise with my pension in hand my heart is growing weaker ten dollars can never mend all the sorrow that swells inside carry me away, lord i can no longer hide wind me, now make me move again -12/16/92 (7:30pm)
5.
Saratoga 06:14
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baby face on a silver screen whiter than the knuckles of a drama queen dirty secrets and alley skies now a fallen angel with bloodshot eyes singer, singer, on the edge of a dream mama’s little baby loves the spotlight scene dancing like an angel with golden hair and shake it while the others all sit and stare i know it's been a long time but i forgot to pray and i know it's just the wrong time but still i had to say the highway's breathing again and the right way's leading you wrong and the sideway is wasting all my time the highway's breathing again and the right way's leading you wrong and your blue eyes wasted all my time like a boulder on the edge of the scree she’s waiting for the moment that we set her free diamond eyes in the deepest clay we’ve barely got time to wash it all away i know it's been a long time but i forgot to pray and i know it's just the wrong time but still i had to say the highway's breathing again and the right way's leading you wrong and the sideway is wasting all my time the highway's breathing again and the right way's leading you wrong and your blue eyes wasted all my time saratoga tugged a branch from the tree of love and hate a garden party lie spoiled her innocent face secrets told could not convey the silent fool she felt inside her taste is sweet, her art is fine, naive of all the lies saratoga's hanging on to a word, unspoken her mind, a cavern well her path, a swift, unbroken chain of lies and mishaps caught inside by treason a con, saratoga -March 1993
6.
Walk In The Night 04:16
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we went out walking we never did talk that much you always close your eyes to see everything outside your sympathy you whine and complain just like everyone you never take the blame no, you just blame someone else you offer nothing more but i never really had that much to give you ask for nothing else than all i have to live if you want to know the truth well, there's not that much to say if you want my opinions well, they're growing darker everyday you never stopped to listen you never stopped to rest if i knew the answers i'd never have to guess in the night we can walk into the night -April 1993
7.
Churchyard 05:46
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it's so sullen, so cold out and everyone we knew has moved along, has passed along this path we walk the same the night rings, all it brings is a terrifying view and my mind reads, so softly this sign which holds my shame and i see it's not the same way as before and i knot that you're not crying anymore it's cold and lonely in the churchyard where i know that you're not hiding anymore and then suddenly i remember a silence filled the air all the smiles that once held us were frowning everywhere and all the colors that we looked upon had changed to black and white and my eyes saw you turn away into the stormy night and i see it's not the same way as before and i knot that you're not crying anymore it's cold and lonely in the churchyard where i know that you're not hiding anymore it's cold and lonely in the churchyard -September 1993
8.
Soul Reflection 06:25
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this open-end conversation you talked about has disappeared from view and your spirit takes the higher ground you buy and sell yourself without any question the lies carved out in stone have washed away with the best of them the newborn whisper has left a cry about the circle of doubt the spirit you're dragging around is not enough to save your soul the chaos left a hush on the shadows of the day a world of difference, a distance shared by all the signs of your lunacy chaos, sweet chaos closed by the eyes of the passion inside the lunatic eyes undermine the triggered cry chaos triggers your soul reflection passion triggers your want to control chaos triggers your mind's selection when seeing truth behind every mistake the stormy seas of your past flood your head like a cryptic lullaby the spoken truth is a gamble with your honor til you run and hide the spirit takes you down like a novel in your hand the story's wearing thin but you still don't understand -November 1993
9.
Tara Four Steps Down 02:19
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i see a single shadow surfing in your silver soul and burn a flame so violently within these eyes of coal the time i spent here wondering just how to take you down is the time i spent here crying to the cirle in the round your eyes emit an afterglow no human eye can see you steal yourself the truth in lies and lie so carelessly the beauty of your babylon is more than your disguise when you cry and shout so wicked to the cancer in the skies as i melt into the sand i feel your flame, so bright tucked into the karma of this dark, elusive night and if the coulds should open up again and never rain down on this unforgotten sin the demons you wear on your sleeve when you slip away will seal themselves shut in their dream of yesterday tara four steps down... -November 1993
10.
The Reply 05:41
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april showers bring may flowers but the flood's all over me like dr. seuss and his red shoes (from the blood spilled from my eyes) it's you who i despise black was the color of my heart when i finally sent you on your way but, like a boomerang, you're coming back again to try to wedge into my life and i keep dropping hints because... i have nothing to say to you - i just wanna stay home i want nothing to do with you - i just wanna stay home you stick around three hundred pounds i paid though i won't see again those child's games that you're wont to play i didn't buy a single one of them and you wore out your welcome mat, now... i have nothing to say to you - i just wanna stay home i want nothing to do with you - i just wanna stay home if you dare to come so close so close, you'll see my rage you have got some growing to do i have got some going to do far, far away from you i have nothing to say to you - i just wanna stay home i want nothing to do with you - i just wanna stay home you can dream a million dreams but there is no safe point in view they said i went insane - you made me inane now i have to kill you off my dear coz i'm tired of running from you i have nothing to say to you - i just wanna stay home i want nothing to do with you - i just wanna stay home -May 1993
11.
Garden Of Avalon 05:32
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don't walk with me today lie down on another sunday i want to see you cry i want to see you left behind another tear forms in your eye it falls from another sky i know the choice is mine and i'm coming home and i remember avalon so cold and i remember avalon so cold stop, dance, sing your song i will not be there too long i just wanna go back home back home to where i feel alone these chords and this guitar is all i have to say, my love i know the choice was mine and i'm coming home and i remember avalon so cold and i remember avalon so cold these chords and this guitar to sing my sad, sad song back to the garden back where i belong rock and tilt, from side to side what do we do when we don't hide? a black box is in my head now i'm coming home back to the garden, back where i belong back to the garden, back where i belong these chords and this guitar to sing my sad, sad song back to the garden, back where i belong blatent sky in my eye avalon'll leave you behind now i know the choice was mine to, uh, go away if you see another sky tacked onto another lie i know the choice was mine and i'm coming home and i remember avalon so cold in the garden, where the trees grow old these chords and this guitar to sing my sad, sad song back to the garden, back where i belong -February 1993
12.
Some Sort Of Farewell 05:32
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and i've seen where you're going and i've seen how you're growing and it's time to say goodbye for now but i'll be coming back i'll be coming back somehow you ask me where the rain is you told me how to break it and it's time to say goodbye for now but i'll be coming back i'll be coming back somehow blinded by the glow of the mighty rivers flowing and it's time to say goodbye for now but i'll be coming back i'll be coming back somehow i may not know where you're coming from but where i've gone you've been there too just wipe your eyes now and wipe tomorrow clean and think again where you're going now is where you're going now but i don't know how you call this a farewell? you call this an untamed night? you better think again and i saw grass a-growin' i saw rivers flowin' and it's time to say goodbye for now but i'll be coming back i'll be coming back somehow if you give away the magic or pretend that you never had it it's already gone past now but i'll be coming back i'll be coming back somehow i'll be coming back somehow -May 1993

about

Chris Anderson's 86th full-length album release.

1993 was a very strange year in the land of FDM. In fact, the least strange thing that happened that year was that the words "Flying Dachshund Music" appeared to me out of nowhere, whilst in class one day. That soon became my publishing name and, later, the name that encompasses the entirety of my musical output. 1993 was the year I started college, and it was the year that I first sat down to craft an album from scratch (my second album, Welcome To Dreamtown, which was created in March, during a blizzard). 1993 was the year that I somewhat took over the blues band I was in, with an armful of new original songs, and turned it into a wicked power trio known as Carpe Diem. 1993 was also the year that my parents split up, and it was the year that I learned how to drink and smoke weed. 1993 was the year that my entire life was turned upside down, strung up, and beaten with a stick until there was barely anything left. 1993 was the year that I first learned how easy it was to lose the will to live.

Literally the only positive thing I had in my life at the time was music. And so I did my best to focus on that as much as possible, from concerts (lots of Phish) to various bands and jam configurations to (most importantly) isolated shut-in sessions with my gear and a 4-track. It was in those sessions that I lost myself in the crafting of songs and albums and those memories, fuzzy and distant as they may be, are my only good memories of that annus horribilis.

Welcome To Dreamtown, my second album, was recorded before the bottom dropped out, and that was a fun creative project, if perhaps not as fully realized as it should have been. My next project, created as everything was going south, was an extremely ambitious song cycle known as Aran Fog & Green, which wound up sitting on the shelf for over 25 years before finally being completed and released. My last big project of the year, after everything had completely fallen to pieces, was an album called Dreamora. Lots of different sorts of songs were recorded for that, and there was a fair bit of experimentation in my trashy bedroom studio. At one point, there was a plan to record the album in acoustic and electric renditions, though the end result wound up combining elements from both ideas into a whole. Those sessions (along with a collaborative project with Tim Parks that happened at that same time) were my escape from the chaos and could not have been more necessary. The resulting album, Dreamora, would not be released until a year later, at which point I had moved on, but it was still something that I was proud of, and was very glad to have seen it through.

This new album is comprised of songs from all of those projects, newly recorded with the benefit of both hindsight, and musical chops. While these songs are ones that represent a time that I would never want to re-live, I have absolutely nothing but fondness for these songs, the albums from which they were born, and this new album. The sessions for this new album, which occurred in the middle of one of the most furiously prolific recording frenzies I have ever undertaken, could not have been more enjoyable. I am very proud of this material, the songs, and even the brutality of 1993, as it made me the person I am today, and these songs made me the songwriter I am today. I am forever grateful, if perhaps a bit wiped out.

-CA, 12/4/20

credits

released May 7, 2021

"produced" by Chris Anderson
Recorded and mixed in The Room, Nov-Dec 2020

CA: acoustic and electric guitars, bass, mandolin, drum programming, vocals, other shit.


All songs written by Chris Anderson
(c) CA / Flying Dachshund Music (BMI), except:

"Undertow" & "Saratoga"
Written by Chris Anderson & Jon Weinhagen
(c) Flying Dachshund Music (BMI) / Wise Man Music


Special thanks to Carpe Diem, the fam, and the superfans.



(p)2020 (c)2021 Chris Anderson / Flying Dachshund Music. All rights reserved. Violators will get a song written about them that makes "The Reply" sound like a song of adoration.

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Chris Anderson Alexandria, Virginia

Chris is a wildly prolific songwriter who has hovered among the outskirts of the music world for over 30 years. On his own label, Flying Dachshund Music, Chris has released 154 CDs, 96 of them being full-length albums. That's just the tip of the iceberg and there are no signs of stopping. Ever.

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